March's Great Fitness Experiment: Perfection
Perfect wedding party!The problem with doing all my Experiments on the cheap - because seriously sweat is free, so getting it on should be too - is that when someone bails on me at the last minute I can’t hardly be mad at them because it’s not like I was paying them in the first place. March’s Great Fitness Experiment was supposed to be boxing, as per the request of at least six of you readers, but the gym buddy who was going to be the Clint Eastwood to our Hillary Swank (did I get that right? I haven’t seen the movie but I know she dies at the end. Which I don’t plan on doing. Anyhow.), well, he flaked. As of last night. And you know I still love him. But I’m not letting him drive the armored truck next time I get asked to transport gold bars to the vault either.
This left me with two backup options. And you’ll see why they only made the backup list once you read what they are:
1. The Perfection Challenge. Oprah.com recently featured a woman who challenged herself to one month of “perfect” living. This meant that she would “embrace every health dictate we all know we should follow but blithely ignore.” She wondered, “Would I feel rejuvenated, young? Or just like the butt of that old joke: “Eating healthy doesn’t make you live longer…it just feels that way?” So not only do you cut out sugar, saturated fat and white flour but you also wear sunscreen and floss and say grateful things every day. Basically, you’re perfect.
2. One Month of Celebrity Workouts. This came to me as one of those press releases that asks me to do something for them but offers nothing in return - you know, my favorite kind. But who can resist a list of workouts named things like “Alicia Keys’ butt workout!” and “Sarah Chalke’s Xflowsion workout!”? I mean, just having “butt” and “xflowsion” in the same sentence makes me giggle like a schoolgirl. Imagine what a whole month of this would do? And hey, maybe if I can do Sarah’s workout, I can learn her “stay-slim secrets” (hint: it has to do with having freakishly long toes and being able to sign her name sans hands.)
Quite the conundrum.
This is the state in which Gym Buddy Krista found me on facebook procrastinating the decision by playing endless rounds of Scramble (i.e. Boggle). So I asked her which she would prefer. She said she needed a diet as she is getting very frustrated with the extra poundage from her last child. And therefore, number 1 was the winner!
After discussing the matter however, we thoroughly depressed ourselves with all this talk about perfection and so forth. We decided that one month of doing everything right was too daunting so we settled on week instead. After one week, we’d reassess and go from there. So here’s how to play along at home - first, scroll back up and read the linked article. Everything will make more sense afterward. Next, come up with a list of rules for your idea of perfect living. This will vary from person to person as we all have different health goals. I’m listing my top ten here. Feel free to shout out some of yours in the comments!
Perfect childproofing!Charlotte’s Path to Perfection
1. Cut out the white stuff (i.e. white flour, sugar - and yes that means brown too, refined crap).
2. Eat 3 meals and 2 snacks a day.
3. Eat a vegetable with every meal.
4. Write in my gratitude journal every night.
5. Meditate & pray every morning.
6. Use mouthwash. (They took away my floss in the asylum. Kidding. I already floss every day.)
7. Exercise 6 days a week. Strength train 3 days, cardio 5.
8. Practice my karate kata every day.
9. Do a random act of kindess every day.
10. Get 8 hours of sleep a night.
And… for the most difficult (but probably most important) one:
11. Not say anything mean about myself, or to myself (in my head included, yes I talk to myself).
Perfect marketing plan!So it’s up to you guys what you want to do. If celebrities are your idea of perfection and you don’t mind a dose of Fitness Magazine inanity, then totally go for the celeb workouts. If nothing else you’ll get some variety! If you choose to take the One Week Perfection challenge, then come up with your list of goals - at least pick one - and WRITE IT DOWN. If you don’t write it down then how will you ever get to be perfect? Everyone knows perfect people write stuff down.
Let me know your decision in the poll below:
PS> For all of you who suggested swimming, it’s on my list. But not until the weather gets warm enough that I am assured my hair will not freeze and then shatter into a million tiny shards upon exiting the gym. I’ll do a lot of things for a good fitness Experiment but I will not bald myself.
The perfect shirt!
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