Tuesday, May 5, 2009

My husband lets me sniff his junk

He does.

In bed.

Last night, he brought an ice cream sandwich with him when he hopped into bed. I said, “Wow! Ice cream sammich!” He said, “Would you like to sniff it?”

So I sniffed his junk. I shrugged. He asked, “Was it good for you?”

Now, I’m not sure how your body responds when you smell something tasty. It might cause cephalic response, and your body might start producing insulin, and you might start to salivate, expecting the food to hit the tongue. If that is the case, don’t sniff your spouse’s junk!

Their junk will not set you free.

If, on the other hand, trips to the bakery and vanilla scented candles are soothing and aroma therapy-like, please–by all means– ask the person next to you if you can sniff their junk. If they don’t slap you for asking, you might have an epiphany.

1. Some foods smell like nothing. At all. AT ALL. the foods we crave most might not have had a smell. From crackers to cereals, you’d be surprised how much like cardboard some of this stuff smells. How can this be palatable?

2. Some foods smell awful. Graham crackers stink. So does tomato soup. How do we eat this stuff? To be fair, brussels sprouts, eggs and cauliflower don’t do it for me nostrilwise, but that doesn’t make it evil. It just means you just add a lot of butter and plug your nose if you choose to have it.

3. Some thing smell pretty wonderful. Doritos, popcorn and baked goods come to mind, here. Then again, a steak smells terrific, as do bacon, and beef jerky drying in the dehydrator.

What is most startling to me is how few foods smell truly GOOD when they are highly processed and/or full of chemicals. Have you smelled macaroni and cheese lately? Spaghetti? Potatoes? These foods smell awful, and yet, as a society, we have moved away from aromatic foods that are also healthy. And when they smell good, it’s probably something added to the food to make it that way. What’s in your red lake #4?

So long as you are not cephalic, try this experiment: start sniffing what you’re not eating. Luke someone who has stopped smoking and has had the sense of smell truly return, you’re going to have some shocking revelations.

Your nose will more often than not remind you that you’re not missing a thing.